Relationship is the heart of this work.
The most recent research measuring the success of different talk-therapy treatment models shows that the "goodness of fit" between the therapist and client is what determines whether or not therapy will be helpful. The relationship between us matters the most for your success. That said, it's helpful to hold in mind that your current experience is influenced most heavily by the relationships with your primary attachment figures.
Your earliest experiences with primary attachment figures form your very first synaptic connections - your brain literally hardwires around those first attachment relationships, whether they are secure or insecure. Thanks to neuroplasticity, even if you had an insecure attachment with one or both of your primary caregivers, you have the capacity to develop secure attachments in your important relationships in adulthood. Neuroplasticity is the brain’s ability to form and reorganize synaptic connections, especially in response to learning or experiences.
In the therapeutic relationship, you’re given the opportunity to develop new neural pathways - or in other words - over time you can form a secure attachment that allows for the healing of your nervous system and increased capacity for self-regulation. Right brain functioning is largely responsible for this affect-regulation. And if you had an insecure attachment with one or both of your primary caregivers, you likely didn’t have all the help you needed from another human’s regulatory system to learn how to regulate your own affect.
So, right-brain-to-right-brain communication in the therapeutic relationship is what helps you begin growing your capacity for self-regulation, bringing healing to your nervous system. It creates those new synaptic connections, reorganizing them into a healthier set of neural pathways that is much kinder to your body.